That 1870s Show
by Dark and prone to violence
Summary: Just the weird product of a sugar-induced rant me and my friends had. Reveiw it!


That **18**70s Show.

(Ookie here's the 411: This was caused by sugar high and my idiotic attempt and gullibility to inhale Coca Cola to try and get high as well as a rant me and my friends had at school)

Setting: Ye Olde Wisconsin. The gang is dressed in pioneer-esque clothing.

Eric: Hello thine friends, check-eth out my new Juliet action figurine!

Kelso: Art thou substituting yon beauty Donna with thy action figurine? 

(Donna punches him)

Kelso: Ow-eth!

A random villager holding a pitchfork runs up to them with an angry mob following him.

Villager#1: Yon redhead hath punched yon stupid one!

Villager#2: Wench whom go-eth by Donna, We accuse-eth thee of being-eth A WITCH!!

Villager#1: Get-eth her!

The villagers chase Donna through the village with pitchforks and torches

Donna (sarcastically): I thank-eth thee foul moron! (Runs off into the distance)

Hyde: Rank idiot! You got-eth Donna run-eth out of town! I shall smite-eth thee! (Tackles Kelso)

Kelso: Ow-eth my eye!

(Opening theme)

(The gang is sitting in a canvas top wagon)

Hanging-eth out!

Down-eth the street,

The same ye olde thing,

We did-eth last week,

Not a thing to do-eth

We talk-eth to thou

We' re all all right!

We're all all right!

Hello ye olde Wisconsin!

Scene change, tumbleweed flies past.

 Setting: Kitty is roasting a large boar on a cook stove and Red is polishing a rifle.

Kitty: Oh it is a shame that Donna is to be hung-eth at yon gallows.

Red: I just wish-eth that you would stop-eth turning thine house into yon refuge.

Kitty: Why do thou say-eth that? Oh art thou girls hungry?

At this point Jackie, Midge and Bob's Hoe (I forget her name) come into the room.

Jackie: Yes, we have become-eth most famished, Thank-eth thee Kitty.

Red: Will thou wenches just leave-eth thine house!

BH (eyes turn red): We art welcome here!

Red (jumps backward): GAH…ETH!

Kitty (doesn't notice): Here you are girls!

Scene change: Eric rides a horse past.

Setting: The gang is hanging out at Donna's cell in the prison.

Donna: Thou art an asshole Kelso!

Kelso: Well you punched-eth me!

Hyde: I miss-eth Jackie

Eric: So you do like-eth her!

Hyde: Shut-eth yon pie hole!

Kelso: Don't deny-eth it Hyde

Hyde: I shall smite-eth thee! (Yet again tackles Kelso)

Donna: How the hell am I going to escape-eth this rank prison cell!

They sit and think for a moment.

Eric: Hang-eth on!

Donna: Please don't say-eth that!

Eric: I have-eth yon idea!

Hyde: What is that?

Eric: I heard-eth off a villager that there is-eth a British exchange-eth worker in yonder education center!

Kelso: Oh I get-eth it! Dress-eth him up as a witch!

All stare at Kelso.

A law enforcer comes up and tells them to leave, as he has to escort Donna to the gallows.

Scene change:  Donna runs away from Villagers.

Setting: Donna is standing on a trapdoor with a noose around her neck. A villager runs onto a platform in front of the gallows.

Villager: Wench known-eth as Donna! Thou stand-eth accused-eth of witchcraft, Thou have been proved-eth guilty by punching-eth yon village idiot whom goes-eth by the name of Kelso! On this day thou art to be hung-eth by the neck until dead.

Voice from the crowd: Stop-eth the hanging stop-eth the hanging!

Eric runs onto the platform.

Eric: Hitting Kelso doesn't prove-eth she's a witch! We all do-eth that in one-way or another. What real proofs do you have-eth?

Random Villager: She turned me into a newt!

All stare at him

Random Villager: I got better.

Eric suddenly gasps.

Eric: LOOK-ETH A BRIT!

There, standing on a large hill proudly wearing nothing but long johns and a British flag, as a cape is Fez. He opens his mouth and in a British accent begins to sing.

Fez: God save our gracious queen…

Village: The Brit he doth sing his national anthem in the presence of Americans! Surely he must be-eth a witch!

The Villagers chase Fez off into the distance.

Eric undoes Donna's noose.

She hugs him.

Scene change: Commercial break

Commercial ends.

Credits start rolling

Eric suddenly wakes up. It's the 1970s and he's in a cold sweat. He then realizes he's in his basement.

Eric: What the hell? That was such a weird dream.

He hears a banging from under the carpet.

He pulls back the carpet to find a trap door.

Kelso's voice: Let-eth us out!

Hyde's voice: What he said-eth.

Eric starts screaming and runs upstairs.

-End-


End file.
